Wisdom for Drowning Painter from Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Drowning Painter
by Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,

I started painting two years ago, thanks to Cosmic Cowgirls. I love it! It makes me happy and each new painting teaches me something. I’m still an amateur, but I’m really proud of what I paint and that I’ve stuck with it. The problem is that my husband is starting to get nervous about how many paintings I’ve got tucked away here, there, and everywhere. He thinks it’s great that I’m being creative and loves to see me happy, but he’s got a point. I don’t think I could sell them and can’t imagine getting rid of them, but what in the world am I going to do with all of them? I have this image of me in 10 years unable to walk from one room to the other because of all the paintings stacked up! What’s a Cowgirl to do?

 Drowning in Paintings

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dear Drowning,

Honey, I feel your pain. Right now I’m using a painting as a desk and two more as curtains! I’m curious, though, that yours are “tucked away.” Each of those paintings is a picture of you in some way, a truer picture than a camera or a mirror could ever give. (Mirrors are slippery friends. Why, mine told me the other day that purple gingham and pink silk were a no-go. The nerve!) So lemme ask you this: If each of your paintings is really you, how does that change where you’ll put them? Are you tucking yourself away or letting the world see you?

Who you were two years ago is not who you are now. I say you sit down with each of your darlings and ask it where it belongs. Sometimes we hold onto things that have taught us lessons when the only thing we need to hold onto is the lesson itself. Ol’ Rose has had a collage of family photos in her hall since she was in pigtails, but the other night, walking by it for the millionth time, I realized I don’t want to look at those folks anymore! So I’ve asked around to see if anyone wants ‘em. If not, I’m going to use my paint and glue and glitter to change them into new people, ones I want to holler at and laugh with. Or maybe I’ll toss ‘em out with the purple gingham and admit that I’ve outgrown both.

You could figure out some fancy organizing trick, but I bet you’ll have a lot more fun if you take it painting by painting. Y’all could invite each painting to supper or breakfast or a cookout. Ask ‘em if they want to visit other folks’ walls. Pop one on the couch and see if it feels like a friend. Find out which make you feel good and which are ready to grow into something else or move on. Lemme know how it goes. I gotta go turn a bratty cousin into a bronco buster!

Thanks for writing and tell your mama I said, “Hey!”

Grassroots Rose

_____________________________________________

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

Wisdom for Woo-Woo Atheist from Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Woo-Woo Atheist
by Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,

I’m thinking of joining the Cosmic Cowgirls and I have a question for you. In the Cosmic Cowgirl course I took, every sort of spiritual experience was welcomed, including having none. I consider myself an atheist. I don’t believe there is a God or gods or Supreme Consciousness. Here’s my dilemma: I sometimes feel as if I’m getting nudged in one direction or another when I paint, usually to places I don’t think I could get on my own. I can’t explain it and it’s driving me nuts! I told a friend about it and she said I shouldn’t worry, but I like to figure things out. You seem to be level-headed with your advice, so I thought I’d run it by you. What do you think I should do?

Atheist Headed to Woo-Woo?

Dear Atheist,

Let’s get right to it, honey. This nudging that you get: Does it feel like something you can trust? If you’ve ever trusted in your life, you know what that feels like. How does this compare?

For my money, I’d say you can be an atheist and still know there’s more to this crazy life than we folks understand. That’s not woo-woo; that’s just a fact! Now, not having things figured out drives a lot of us nuts. We keep worrying at it like a hound with a hot spot, until we’re eating ourselves alive. Lemme ask you this: if you knew for sure that this nudging was a gene handed down from your crazy great-aunt, would that make a difference in what you did with it?

Pick any three Cowgirls and they’d give you a different answer. If there’s one thing I know, it’s whatever you bring to this pack of wild women, you’ll get a dozen (hundred!) different angles on how they’d approach it and very little (with any luck, no!) directions on what to do next besides paint and listen and see what happens if you trust yourself. Can you do that, honey? Trust yourself, drop the figuring out, and keep painting until you maybe paint yourself to an answer that comes from you? If you’re up for that ride, you’ve found the right tribe.

Thanks for writing and tell your mama (and that crazy great-aunt) I said, “Hey!”

Grassroots Rose

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for a Frustated 9-to-5er from Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for a Frustrated 9-to-5er
by Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,

If one more person tells me I can do anything I want, I’m going to lose it! I’m a single woman who pays all her own bills and has no debt. In order to do that, I stay in jobs that don’t have me skipping with joy on my way to work. I keep hearing that I should do more or follow my bliss or give more time to my art (I’m a fabric artist and quilter). It’s gotten to the point where I’m embarrassed to admit I have a regular job, as if it’s a sin not to make money from something I love. Am I in denial or am I being smart?

Frustrated 9-to-5er

Dear 9-to-5er,
Let me get right to the point. I don’t give a hoot –and recommend you don’t, either—about what people think about your job or how you spend your time. The real question is: Are you happy? Are you sure it’s other people’s opinions that have you embarrassed about your job? Most of us know people who are scrambling to make ends meet. If your money’s in good shape, what’s eating at you? And don’t you just love advice columnists who ask a bunch of questions instead of giving you some goldurn advice?!  

Honey, I’m asking because I live a life that has set more than one tongue to wagging. For the most part, that don’t bother me none. When I get all riled up about what folks think, it’s ‘cause I’m not thinking too highly of myself. Here’s one more of those pesky questions. What makes you so mad about people saying you can do anything you want? It’s true, with the exception of flying or making a lighter biscuit than my mama. You can do anything and everything has a consequence. If you ask me, I think you’re doing great, you sound smart, and there may be a dash of denial in the soup. But the only opinion that matters is YOURS.

Thanks for writing and tell your mama I said, “Hey!”

Grassroots Rose

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Aint inflation a crank?)

Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Single Mom, Wasting Time, from Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Single Mom, Wasting Time
by Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose

I’m not a Cosmic Cowgirl, but I hope you’ll answer my question. I am a single mother with a full-time job and a nine-year-old daughter. I do fairly well in keeping up with bills and being there for her. I’m also an artist, or used to be. When I was younger, I drew with colored pencils – complicated drawings that took time and effort but made me happy in a way I haven’t felt in years. My sister-in-law sometimes watches my daughter so I can get some time to myself. I always think I’ll use that time to draw, but I end up watching TV or reading or surfing online instead. Why can’t I get myself to do something I love? Thank you,

Wasting Time

Dear Time,

I’m happy to answer every question I get that’s not about my spice cake recipe. (For the last time, y’all will get it when I’m dead!) First of all, let me stand up and applaud. Single parents have got the hardest job on the planet and taking time to write me a letter and think about yourself is worth a standing ovation.

Now let’s get to the meat of it! It could be that you don’t start drawing because it hurts too much to stop. Gettin’ a little of what you love can hurt more than gettin’ none. When we get none, we go numb. When we get a fresh taste of what we love, our hearts open like dogwood in Spring. Then the Winter of Time’s Up hits and numb doesn’t sound so bad. Let me tell you right here and now, from someone who knows: numb is worse than dead. Numb is dead with bills and bad hair days!

You could also be plumb wore out from giving. Maybe drawing feels like one more thing to do. You’re right that art takes time and effort. You’re also right that it makes you happy like nothing else. Can you split your time alone between getting (anything from a nap to videos of dancing cats) and giving yourself to art? What can you do in 15 or 30 minutes that would let your artist out without breaking your heart? And you are still an artist, honey. That doesn’t change.

Most of all, can you remember there’s no one thing you’re supposed to do, day out and day in? Most mamas I know are way too hard on themselves. Imagine what it would teach your girl to have a mama who is an artist and also knows that some days call for a hard nap in a soft place.

Let me know how you make out and tell your mama I said, “Hey!”
Grassroots Rose

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for the Invisible Woman, from Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,
I found your column online and like the way you tell it like it is. Here’s my problem. I have some good friends and have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I’m not a very outgoing person, but lately I feel like I’m invisible. I give my listening and support to all of these people and get nothing back. Part of the problem may be that I wait for people to ask me how I am before I talk about myself. I can’t seem to start a conversation about myself without feeling like I’m being obvious about wanting attention. I know I need to do something, but what? This feels really bad!
The Invisible Woman

Dear Very Visible,
First off, ain’t nothing wrong with wanting attention. We all do, one way or the other! What you need is to speak up, but what else is going on here? Listen to your friends and beau when y’all are talking. See where you fit. If one says something about how her ex ran away with the hairdresser and everyone else jumps in with their ex and hairdresser stories, are you taking your turn?

Then again, maybe you’re not the “jump in” type. Maybe you want slower, one-on-one chats. If you find yourself disappearing only when you’re in a group, you might be what my mama calls a “heart miner,” somebody who wants to go deep into a conversation instead of roaming wide. (Me, I’ll talk to a bluebottle fly if there’s no one around, but I bet you guessed that already!) If that’s the case, make sure you get plenty of heart-to-hearts.

The last question I’ll ask before I go talk to the flies is whether you might be hanging ’round the wrong berry patch. Do your friends and boyfriend talk about things that bore you? If so, what would excite you? Can you get them riled up about it or find someone who is? If you’re bored with ‘em, honey, don’t pretend not to be. Find yourself people who love what you love and you’ll find yourself shining, in public and at home. Bet the crowd’ll be begging to know what your story is, then! Tell me how it works and tell your mama I said, “hey!”

Grassroots Rose

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You – what you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Grassroots Rose

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

Wisdom for Lost and Scared, from Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Miss Rose,
I’ve been praying for a sign or at least someone who knows more than I do. I’m not sure what I signed up for or when, but there you were in my email-box. Not one to turn my back on mysterious happenings, I wonder if you were sent by the Great Wrangler in the Sky to help me figure out where to go and what to do with the rest of my life.

For the last 15 years I’ve been caring for my mom and dad. Mom died 8 years ago and Dad just passed away in Jan. I’m stuck in a big mud hole of grief. But more than that I can’t seem to figure out what I’m going to do next. I feel like that doggie at the end of a rodeo rope, all lassoed and tied up so she can’t get up. And when she is untied all she can do is run blindly away.

Got any ideas how to start over?
Lost and scared.

Dear Lost, Scared, and Doing It Right,
Honey, I bet you know more than you think. Pop a squat on the porch and let’s look at this. Losing both parents and your caregiver role is Big Grief. It don’t matter if you’re five or 50, being orphaned shakes us to the roots…because it feels like the roots have been chopped out from under you. Let me tell you straight: feeling lost and scared is a healthy response to major loss. As my granny would say, “You gotta sit in the pain ‘fore you jump on the train!” Can you find some love for your lost self? Can you turn the care and affection you had for Mom & Dad toward yourself?

Give yourself time for Lost and Scared. Write it in your calendar. Then block out time to write one or two or 20 things that make you smile. Imagine that doggie untied and running…is she really blind or is there something she’s running toward?

To start over, take time to say goodbye to the good and bad that’s gone. Then look around like a dog sniffing out a new home. What’s next will grow out of tiny steps, each one led by that make-me-smile list. Don’t fret the rest of your life just yet. Let yourself feel the grief and follow your smart heart to the next tiny step out of the hole.

Smile at the sky and tell your Mama & Papa I said, “Hey!”
Grassroots Rose

p.s. If you can’t find anything that makes you smile, there are some awful good professional grief wranglers out there who can help.

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You – what you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Lora Cate, Inertia Queen, from Grassroots Rose

Writer: Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,

Although I’m an over-achiever, I wrestle with big doses of procrastination and avoidance. WHY? I feel like inertia is my foe. Once I get the wheels rolling, I’m fine, even better than fine. My inner fire stokes up and I blaze along, sparks flying. What is going on? Why is “beginning” so challenging for me? I’ve been in therapy and read self-help books. I know, “fear of failure/success” and all that. Oh snort! Please help me Grassroots Rose, I know you’ll tell it to me true.

Fondly,

Lora Cate, Inertia Queen

Hey there, Highness,

You ever take a dog on a walk? You ever had ‘em hit the smelliest patch of ivy and sniff ‘til your feet freeze? Sure you have! Drag that pup away and she’ll go like gangbusters, until the next smelly patch. We aren’t that different from dogs. Instead of asking why you can’t get started, you might want to look at what makes that patch of inertia ivy so appealing that you don’t move on down the road.

If you’re an overachiever, a blazer, a self-improver, inertia might be the only oasis you’ve got. Ask yourself this, honey. Are you tired? Are you trying to do too much? The next time you’re procrastinating, see what feels good about it. See what you get from not starting. It might be exactly what you need and not a problem at all! Let ol’ Rose know what you find and tell your mama I said, “Hey!”

Grassroots Rose

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Aint inflation a crank?)

Grassroots Rose

Wisdom for Timid Trisha from Grassroots Rose

Writer: Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only Cosmic Cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear GR Rose,

Help! I just celebrated my 49th birthday and feel like a meek, non-fragrant wallflower. I have a hard time speaking up for myself, letting people know what I want and need. I fear I’ve become my mother. Ack! Mom is terrific, but she has NEVER asserted herself. She lets my father, family and her friends walk all over her. I want to find my voice, find courage to ask to have my needs met and stand up for myself when necessary.   – Timid Trisha

Hey there, darlin’,

The needs usually take care of themselves. It’s the wants that get orphaned and that’s a damn shame.

About the best habit you can have (besides flirtin’ with good-looking strangers) is asking, “What do I want?” Get in the habit of asking a few times a day. Find three answers each time. (Right now, ol’ Rose wants a hammock, a nap, and a good-looking stranger.) Start small. Tell folks what you like, then what you don’t. Ask for ten quiet minutes to hole up and list what you want. Work up to asking for what’s on that list.

Now, some people can’t or won’t help. That’s fine. Don’t let it stop you. Knowing what you want is the key. Once you’ve got that down, just start walking toward it and ask for help along the way. Get excited by what you want and folks will get excited about helping. Trust me, honey, a gal who writes “Ack!” has a voice and we wanta hear yours!

Tell your mama I said “Hey!”
-Grassroots Rose

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You – what you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

Takin’ a Breather Between Roundups

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two cents. Ain’t inflation a crank?)

 

Wisdom for Tongue-Tied Tracy from Grassroots Rose

Writer: Grassroots Rose

If you want the sure-shootin, git-r-done kind of truths only cosmic cowgirls will tell you, just ask Grassroots Rose.

Dear Grassroots Rose,

Can you help me? I’m a recent college graduate in a great relationship, but there’s one problem. My boyfriend and I don’t really talk. We joke, make plans, say “I love you,” but don’t talk about things that are really important. I can’t help feeling that I want, or need, more. I don’t want to leave, but I want things to change.

Tongue-tied Tracy from Tallulah

Hey there, Tracy!

Only you can help you, but let’s talk it out. If I showed up at 3am and asked what’s important to you, could you say? If not, you may not know. If you don’t know, how you gonna talk about it? Are you talking to your friends? Yourself? Anyone who thinks the same things are important?

You’re a smart girl. But you can still fall in the same hole we’ve been falling in since we took off our fig leaves: believing that Mr. or Ms. Right will make us the person we wanta be. Save yourself some fuss and fluster. Skip right to being the person you wanta be, then see who gives a hoot. If you start sharing what lights you up, he’ll respond to your git-up & go. If not, tell him to get in the game or get gone.

One more thing and I’ll stop yakking. You write “I can’t help feeling that I want more.” Too right! You CAN’T stop feeling. You CAN’T stop wanting. Why would you? Those are things you can trust, even if you dump me and your man. See, I knew you had the answer. If this job were any easier, they’d pay me in sunshine. You be good to you, honey. Tell your mama I said “Hey!”

Takin' a Breather Between Roundups

 

Grassroots Rose is here to tell you – no, really, she’s here to tell You. What you need to know, want to know, already know and ain’t admitting to no one, no how. She knows you’re way smarter than you think and if she can help you see that, she’ll be the happiest girl in the hollow.

 

Grassroots Rose

So holler at Rose at GrassrootsRose.CosmicCowgirls@gmail.com to get her four cents. (Used to be two. Ain’t inflation a crank?)